Of Jibes and Bards

Supportive Acquaintance: How’d the job interview go with that moving company?

Strapping Young Lad: I didn’t get it.

Supportive Acquaintance: What?! I can’t believe that! You’d be perfect!

Strapping Young Lad: Tell me about it. I’m cut like Fortinbras!

[Hey, everyone. Andrew here. Sorry to interrupt both your FIT OF HYSTERICS and the GRIPPING DRAMA THAT’S UNFOLDING, but I thought we could take a moment to bask in the benevolent glow of this witticism. As we all know, Fortinbras is a character in Hamlet—a strong and impulsive leader who succeeds in conquering Poland and claiming the Danish throne. It is likely, therefore, that he has “cut” muscles not unlike the ones Strapping Young Lad would by description seem to have. And although I’m sure I needn’t remind anyone, Fortinbras only makes two brief appearances in the original text. Aside from acting as an offstage parallel to Hamlet, Fortinbras’ main purpose is to fill the power vacuum left at the end of the play since Shakespeare’s audiences felt more satisfied if the play’s resolution included a restoration of authority. Modern audiences don’t tend to crave such an ending, and as such the role of Fortinbras is often cut from contemporary film and theatre adaptations. In the context of this dialogue, Strapping Young Lad has also been “cut” as a candidate for the job of moving furniture, to much, you will note, comedic effect.

Thank you. You may now resume your INVOLUNTARY URINATION.]

~~Supportive~~ Acquaintance: …the hell are you talking about?

Strapping Young Lad: Never mind. It’s not worth explaining.